Yesterday we left Quinnipiac bright and early at 7am. There are 20 of us headed to North Calorlina in two white 15 passenger vans. The drive yesterday was around nine hours including stops which was surprisingly quicker than expected. We watched license plates, asked icebreaker questions from the packet in our "van survival guide kit," listened to the cds we all made for the trip and of course most of us did quite a bit of napping along the way. We traveled through Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia. You definitely can't beat the gradually warmer weather each time we stopped.
We stayed at the best western in Richmond, well that was after we found out we had rooms there.... I'll explain: on the trip we have groups which lead a group reflection each night so we can all try and get to know each other better, discuss our experiences, and participate in planned activities and discussions led by other trip members. So, for yesterday's activities the group decided to have our group leaders tell us that the hotel was booked for the wrong night and that there was no where in the area for us to stay. We all tried to discuss ideas of what to do and as a group weconcluded we would get dinner and then continue south and call other hotels along the way until we found one we could stay at. Later they told us it was all just a jake and it was an activity to see how we would react to a change in plans and how we would come together as a group to solve the problem. So then we did some activities which included revealing some of our group member's fears about the trip and allowing us to see that we all share many of these fears.and that marked the end of the day and many of us got to bed pretty early after the long day. There is something about being in a van for 9 hours that is very tiring.
The beginning of our day started at 6, well for me because I got up and showered and we met up and packed the van at 7 (actually Brian and Tom did most of the van packing) and then went to the continental breakfast at the hotel. This was no ordinary continental breakfast and it definitely surpassed my expectations as they had a waffle maker which was exceptionally delicious when I was expecting cereal. And we also got a nice taste of the south with biscuits and gravy for breakfast, well some of us did, I stuck to my waffle :) and then with that we now start our day with a three hour trip to Pittsburo, North Carolina.
High: I think the most exciting part of this trip ao far has been going on the road with all the games, bonding, and music because I have meet gone I a huge road trip with a group of people my age before and it is really exciting!!! I am looking forward to everyone getting a lot closer because I think that we are already all starting to get to know each other and I am sure it's only going to get better from there--I guess thy is what a nine hour can ride will do for a group of people.
Low: trying to figure out where we could go for dinner with 20 people after a long day of travel.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Invisibility
I talk and no one listens. Did you know I had an interview today? Did you know that I had a test this morning? Did you know I met with 4 professors on the Sustainability committee today? Did you know that I hosted a film screening tonight? There were 16 people there, including 4 from our club and 2 professors. At the end of the film, there was 7 people, 2 were from the faculty and four from our club. None of those people were you, yet I go to support you in what you do. Did you know that my parents were out of the country this week? Did you know I was extremely worried about them yesterday when I was traveling? Did you know I got an interview for Habitat for Humanity? Did you know that I still have two more exams this week? Did you know that I am not going home Friday when you all go home? Do you care?
Sometimes everyone messes up, but isn't that all in life's lessons? Do we not become a better person with each mistake that we recover from? Do we not build ourselves up stronger and better every time we fall? I do, every-time I make a mistake, I grow and become better as a result.
Today I had a job interview, I thought they would ask me some of the typical interview questions; what are your strengths, weaknesses....etc. And you know what, I couldn't think of a true weakness. I believe my weaknesses are my strengths, when I mess up, I become better because of those experiences. I would not be strong had I not once needed strength. I would not be smart had I once not needed to know the answer. I would not have friends had I not once learned what its like to be lonely. I would not sleep if I never once felt tired. I would not dream had I ever not been restricted. I would not be the person I am today had I not ever needed to acquire the skills and habits that I have without first making mistakes and needing those skills. Our human race would not do the things it does now or believe in the things which it does, had it not faced difficulty and found need. So we all make mistakes, we are not perfect.
"Good Judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement"
"Yes, the past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it"
"If I could go back in time and change all the mistakes I made, I wouldn't because it made me who I am today"
"It isn't the problem along the way that makes us or breaks us. It is how we learn to stand and face them that makes the difference."
"You have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you got and remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget, learn from your mistakes, but never regret."
"Its better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at the line for the rest of your life."
Don't put a period where God put a comma.
Don't give up on something, end something, or lose faith just because things seem to be taking a lapse. Have faith, prevail, and push through because there is always something more. You can always forgive, you can always move on, you can always succeed. The only thing you cannot re-do is live.
Sometimes everyone messes up, but isn't that all in life's lessons? Do we not become a better person with each mistake that we recover from? Do we not build ourselves up stronger and better every time we fall? I do, every-time I make a mistake, I grow and become better as a result.
Today I had a job interview, I thought they would ask me some of the typical interview questions; what are your strengths, weaknesses....etc. And you know what, I couldn't think of a true weakness. I believe my weaknesses are my strengths, when I mess up, I become better because of those experiences. I would not be strong had I not once needed strength. I would not be smart had I once not needed to know the answer. I would not have friends had I not once learned what its like to be lonely. I would not sleep if I never once felt tired. I would not dream had I ever not been restricted. I would not be the person I am today had I not ever needed to acquire the skills and habits that I have without first making mistakes and needing those skills. Our human race would not do the things it does now or believe in the things which it does, had it not faced difficulty and found need. So we all make mistakes, we are not perfect.
"Good Judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement"
"Yes, the past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it"
"If I could go back in time and change all the mistakes I made, I wouldn't because it made me who I am today"
"It isn't the problem along the way that makes us or breaks us. It is how we learn to stand and face them that makes the difference."
"You have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you got and remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget, learn from your mistakes, but never regret."
"Its better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at the line for the rest of your life."
Don't put a period where God put a comma.
Don't give up on something, end something, or lose faith just because things seem to be taking a lapse. Have faith, prevail, and push through because there is always something more. You can always forgive, you can always move on, you can always succeed. The only thing you cannot re-do is live.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Drifting Away
What can I say, I don't know where things could have gone. We definitely were very close but it just wasn't the right time. Now you seem to ignore me most of the days, I am not sure if its because it hurts, because you are trying to keep your distance or because you are trying to protect yourself. It hurts to see the people around you who have replaced me, I feel like our friendship is put in the backseat for some reason or another. My mistakes are always so hard for you to look past or forgive, but I am not invincible, you should know that. We helped each other through some rough times, so its hard to believe that we are living our lives in parallel now. Doing the same things, but with different people, would it not be easier to just be back to normal again. I don't know why we are acting so awkward now, because if I had it my way, we'd be back to normal. Seems like these days, the people I introduced you to mean more than I do, I was just a ramp to get to them. I wish you just made some effort to see me or make plans with me like we used to, because knowing you cared about our friendship is what I would love to see. I don't care who your with or who you hang out with, I only wish that I didn't get left behind. I always get strange looks and avoidance. I miss the "hello," I miss the hug, I miss you asking how my day was and hearing about yours....I liked having a friend who I knew would be there and understand me, I just liked feeling valued. I liked that you laughed at my jokes and that I could cheer you up, and I liked that you could do the same. I guess that is why it hurts so much now when you don't even say hi when you walk by me or when I am around you. Its like I am invisible, and going from friendship to invisible makes me feel like I am not good enough for your effort. But why?
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Silence can be so loud
So I am back at school and its taken some adjustment, but I finally feel at home. Everything seemed to fall back in place. New friendships and old, mutual civil relationships, and just some mutual ignorances, however, all was well. I begin to feel like QU was a family again.
The problem comes when everyone decides to get involved in everything
the problem comes when people can't tackle things head on
the problem comes when people put themselves in situations they shouldn't (this does not exclude me)
the problem comes when people almost give in to temptations
the problem comes when people make mountains out of molehills
the problem comes when people start to infer
the problem comes when people are misinterpreted
the problem comes when life becomes a giant game of telephone
the problem comes when people talk to people who are not involved in the problems
the problem comes when people drink
the problem comes when people talk
the problem comes when you let your life be an open book and there are people out there who want to tear it up
the problem comes when you are not paying attention to the eggs and you set off the fire alarm
the problem comes when everyone hears it indirectly
the problem comes when people lie
the problem comes when people take sides
the problem comes when everything happens at once
the problem comes when people don't play nice
the problem comes with jealousy
the problem comes with life
the problems come with your life
the problems come with my life
....WHY?
The problem comes when everyone decides to get involved in everything
the problem comes when people can't tackle things head on
the problem comes when people put themselves in situations they shouldn't (this does not exclude me)
the problem comes when people almost give in to temptations
the problem comes when people make mountains out of molehills
the problem comes when people start to infer
the problem comes when people are misinterpreted
the problem comes when life becomes a giant game of telephone
the problem comes when people talk to people who are not involved in the problems
the problem comes when people drink
the problem comes when people talk
the problem comes when you let your life be an open book and there are people out there who want to tear it up
the problem comes when you are not paying attention to the eggs and you set off the fire alarm
the problem comes when everyone hears it indirectly
the problem comes when people lie
the problem comes when people take sides
the problem comes when everything happens at once
the problem comes when people don't play nice
the problem comes with jealousy
the problem comes with life
the problems come with your life
the problems come with my life
....WHY?
Monday, June 6, 2011
The more you think about it...the more you will be influenced by it...
There are things in life you naturally let go, or I naturally let go, because I know that life is a give and take, and sometimes you have to understand you are not the number one priority or that life happens and shit happens. Sometimes I get very caught up though, on what should bother me, which makes me realize that it means these things do bother me somewhat---or maybe I just like to make myself miserable and like to attack the things which bother or could bother me.
Exhibit A:
I go for a weekend with my boyfriend. He promises me some special alone time yet I understand the majority of the time will be spent as a group. Life happens and we don't have the alone time I thought we would. I have really strong feelings and I am so happy to be there but I just keep getting let down, not just because I do not get alone time, but mostly because I feel like he forgot that he told me we would have that time. Not because I needed it but because the fact that he promised me that time made me feel special, and that it was ignored, made the special reverse itself.
I think maybe the fact of the matter is that what is important to me is not the things that people do or do not do for me, but if someone says they will do something for me and they do not, even if I want to let it go and be chill about it, I am not able to because I am disappointed--and as much as I want to say "this is stupid Amelia," I cannot shake it, because the more I think about it, the more downhill my mood goes--or rather, there is a decrease in excitement.
I wish I didn't get disappointed like this, but the fact of the matter is, your word is your word, if you are not true to it, its going to eat at me. If you make me feel special by saying you will do something for me, follow through. Its not that I really need you to do that specific thing, but its the fact that I feel neglected if you fail to do it or to at least show concern for it.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Please Don't Make Me Feel Like its My Fault
Please don't come in, please dont sit down, no no please don't take off your shoes, please don't get comfortable, please don't stay--I am afraid you won't leave.
Its not that I don't love you, Its not that I don't appreciate you--its just I've grown. Its just that I do not want to be babied, I don't want to be touched, I don't need to sit in your lap right now. I know it seems like I only need you when I am upset but people grow older and they don't need as much help. When I need you I know you are there to help, but don't get mad if I don't need help.
When you help too much and control too much then I start to fear it. I start to look for ways to block it. The attention--I just don't want it anymore. I shouldn't need to be a baby to show you I appreciate you or I love you.
Thing is....I shouldn't have to walk around on my tippy-toes trying to avoid upsetting you or jump around trying to prevent something which will upset you. I just need a little bit of space. Hopefully you will forget tomorrow that you were walking around tonight. Hopefully tomorrow you will forget you kept getting out of bed and you had been home for at least 30 minutes and were still in your dress after going to bed. Hopefully you forget tomorrow the door slamming and scaring the living daylights out of me. Hopefully tomorrow you will forget wandering into the hallway and coming into my room (after I had been secretly praying you wouldnt because I was just ready to be in my space and relax not because I do not love you because I wasn't in the mood and everyone is entitled to that) and being upset because I was confused as to why you were still up and because I was not in the mood to figure out what the proper response to your statements was. "Your toes look nice" "thanks" what else is there to say? It is 11pm and I am exhausted and you are acting different. Hopefully you forget, or maybe you forgot already, or maybe you won't...I dont know...and Im not sure I care because I am not sure it matters.
I just don't want you to get upset for little things that you shouldn't. I just want you to stop taking it personally when I am just living my life, you have another life too and I am entitled to my own as well.
Its not that I don't love you, Its not that I don't appreciate you--its just I've grown. Its just that I do not want to be babied, I don't want to be touched, I don't need to sit in your lap right now. I know it seems like I only need you when I am upset but people grow older and they don't need as much help. When I need you I know you are there to help, but don't get mad if I don't need help.
When you help too much and control too much then I start to fear it. I start to look for ways to block it. The attention--I just don't want it anymore. I shouldn't need to be a baby to show you I appreciate you or I love you.
Thing is....I shouldn't have to walk around on my tippy-toes trying to avoid upsetting you or jump around trying to prevent something which will upset you. I just need a little bit of space. Hopefully you will forget tomorrow that you were walking around tonight. Hopefully tomorrow you will forget you kept getting out of bed and you had been home for at least 30 minutes and were still in your dress after going to bed. Hopefully you forget tomorrow the door slamming and scaring the living daylights out of me. Hopefully tomorrow you will forget wandering into the hallway and coming into my room (after I had been secretly praying you wouldnt because I was just ready to be in my space and relax not because I do not love you because I wasn't in the mood and everyone is entitled to that) and being upset because I was confused as to why you were still up and because I was not in the mood to figure out what the proper response to your statements was. "Your toes look nice" "thanks" what else is there to say? It is 11pm and I am exhausted and you are acting different. Hopefully you forget, or maybe you forgot already, or maybe you won't...I dont know...and Im not sure I care because I am not sure it matters.
I just don't want you to get upset for little things that you shouldn't. I just want you to stop taking it personally when I am just living my life, you have another life too and I am entitled to my own as well.
What do you do when....
...you are ready to walk, when you know that what you've got is the best there will ever be for you...when the impossible becomes your reality.
I played around with the idea of being single for a long time after my last breakup. This, this just happened, how, I have no clue, alright maybe a small idea of how. I wanted to be strong, independent and carefree but somehow I love this. I love being his, I love being in his arms, on his arm, holding his hand, on his lap, on his back, in his lap, and in his life.
Its a scary thing when you have someone's heart in your hands because you know the more you open up to him, the more he opens up to you, and the more it will hurt if something happens. But if you're both happy, then its perfect, I am happy.
Is it weird I never really dreamed of my wedding, as a kid I mean; everyone thinks that every little girl is dreaming of that day forever and ever, but I don't think I have ever done it more than now. A beautiful dress, my family, his family, and a beautiful future....I know I can't rush things but its wonderful to dream-- it is a wonderful dream.
I am scared
I am happy
I am in love
I played around with the idea of being single for a long time after my last breakup. This, this just happened, how, I have no clue, alright maybe a small idea of how. I wanted to be strong, independent and carefree but somehow I love this. I love being his, I love being in his arms, on his arm, holding his hand, on his lap, on his back, in his lap, and in his life.
Its a scary thing when you have someone's heart in your hands because you know the more you open up to him, the more he opens up to you, and the more it will hurt if something happens. But if you're both happy, then its perfect, I am happy.
Is it weird I never really dreamed of my wedding, as a kid I mean; everyone thinks that every little girl is dreaming of that day forever and ever, but I don't think I have ever done it more than now. A beautiful dress, my family, his family, and a beautiful future....I know I can't rush things but its wonderful to dream-- it is a wonderful dream.
I am scared
I am happy
I am in love
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)