How am I supposed to choose between my best guy friend and the guy I've fallen for? Yes he was his friend, I admit thats a little messed up, but he encouraged it, and didn't seem to show he had a huge issue with us talking. I never meant to upset my friend, but I can't really help how I feel or interact with a specific person. I feel like I'm screwed now.
(a) I choose my best friend over my new interest: he probably won't be too accepting of me at this point and then I lose something thats really making me happy and someone I have really great chemistry with
(b) I choose my new interest over my best friend: I could mess up their friendship and my friendship is definitely lost which will make it awkward if something comes out of this and they live together and I could lose all my guy friends with him. (Hopefully he will chill out---but he can be kinda stubborn)
(c) I choose neither and go lay in the middle of the quad by myself trying to figure out how I managed to screw things up so much
maybe hoping someone would come
but not sure how good that would be, because then I have to make a decision
and if not, then I lost a couple of my best friends here
the ones I was so happy to have and valued so much
"What does it take to make a journey? A place to start, something to leave behind...we might imagine a journey with no destination, nothing but the act of going, and with never an arrival. But I think we would always hope to find something or someone, however unexpected and unprepared for" (John Haines)
Maybe I need to go on a journey now. Starting walking out of my dorm right now, leaving behind these relations I've developed and been so strengthened by---I have no idea where I will go or where I will end up---but maybe a journey is what I need. Yes I would always hope to find something or someone. But I always mess everything up-- or so it seems.
I don't want to give this up--It will be very painful
I don't want to lose my friend--It will be extremely painful
Monday, March 21, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Faith
I find that I usually slack in my giving up of something during lent and half-ass things. Since I returned from winter break, Ive been slacking off going to church and I want to take this chance to get back closer to the church again. Today is ash wednesday, I am going to go to confession and also to mass to get ashes and starting today I am giving up facebook for lent. The next 40 days might be hard, but I think it will be a really meaningful sacrifice. After spring break I want to be more productive, remember
to go to mass on sundays, go to the gym and eat healthier…I guess these are my lent resolutions. In my sacrifice and in my self denial-- I hope to think to God and remember to pray for people are so reliant on things which are way less important than faith. I want to pray for all the people who go to confession and go to get ashes. I want to pray for those who go to mass every week, just today, or not at all. I pray for those who are ignorant. I pray for those who choose to be agressive. I pray for those who choose to be assertive. I pray for those who chose to poke fun at or attack religious observation, for they do not understand their sins. I pray for those who do not understand, and those who do. But I would really like to pray for those who do not believe. Faith has given me strength and comfort and power, and I pray for all that lack these. I still cannot believe there are people who do not at least know what ash wednesday is and I also pray that the people who choose to attack Catholics on this day realise the error of their ways.
to go to mass on sundays, go to the gym and eat healthier…I guess these are my lent resolutions. In my sacrifice and in my self denial-- I hope to think to God and remember to pray for people are so reliant on things which are way less important than faith. I want to pray for all the people who go to confession and go to get ashes. I want to pray for those who go to mass every week, just today, or not at all. I pray for those who are ignorant. I pray for those who choose to be agressive. I pray for those who choose to be assertive. I pray for those who chose to poke fun at or attack religious observation, for they do not understand their sins. I pray for those who do not understand, and those who do. But I would really like to pray for those who do not believe. Faith has given me strength and comfort and power, and I pray for all that lack these. I still cannot believe there are people who do not at least know what ash wednesday is and I also pray that the people who choose to attack Catholics on this day realise the error of their ways.
"Pray For You"
Things were going great '˜til they fell apart again
So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do
He said you cant go hating others who have done wrong to you.
Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn.
Let the good Lord do His job and you just pray for them.
We must have the strength to forgive those who have tresspassed us and pray to the Lord to lead us away from temptations. We must free ourself of sin and strive to live a life closer to God. Praying each day for all God's people. Remembering that everyone makes mistakes and that each and every one of us are works in progress. To remember the story of the Lord, where the Sinner is loved more by God than those who act pious. We must remember to lead lives of faith and hope that others do the same.
So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do
He said you cant go hating others who have done wrong to you.
Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn.
Let the good Lord do His job and you just pray for them.
We must have the strength to forgive those who have tresspassed us and pray to the Lord to lead us away from temptations. We must free ourself of sin and strive to live a life closer to God. Praying each day for all God's people. Remembering that everyone makes mistakes and that each and every one of us are works in progress. To remember the story of the Lord, where the Sinner is loved more by God than those who act pious. We must remember to lead lives of faith and hope that others do the same.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)