The Loner Tables

Is eating about meeting your needs or has it become a social exclusivity? Originally, cavemen, I assume, would come back with their prize kills and everyone would gather round and devour the food until it was gone, however, somewhere along the way it got more civil, and possibly more exclusive? Why is it that no one walks into a restaurant and eats alone? Sure maybe a panera or subway you might, but generally, we feel obligated to take our food somewhere where we are out of the lights of others when we are alone. In a childish way, we almost fear the feeling of walking into the densely packed cafeteria at lunchtime by ourselves. You always notice the person who is eating alone and feel bad. It doesn't mean they don't have any friends. I guess it is somewhat more acceptable for breakfast, and also more acceptable when you have something to look at or work on, so you look like you're doing something. I figured that this would be a very lonely dinner today, sitting by myself eating, because as it seems there are many who plan special meals with others, exclusive to themselves. Dare me not encroach upon a friend and her friend upon a meal out of fear that I am ruining their plans. So as it turns out, human reaction is to take away to somewhere where others cannot judge you, first human instinct. The upstairs cafe has become a less formal library and also the home of the lone, the area designated for the person who had the misfortune of having a class at the time most of their friends went to eat or the person who simply has no patience to walk back to their room and find someone who would like to come eat with them. It turns out there are a lot of loners, they all act busy, yes, its something they need to do, but does it really need to take priority to the short meal? Probably not. Its comfort, you are away from the judgemental eye of groups, and free from the judgement of others.

We are motivated by comfort, by emotions, by touch, by happy and sad and angry. We are motivated by the serotonin and acedylcholine in our brains passing through the synapses in our brain. People are always watching us, you walk into your class, everyone is already in their seats, how the hell did they all get there so quickly?? You don't realise that the professor has stepped out of the room, perhaps to fix her hair (or wig) or perhaps to grab a coffee or sip of water, but there is a handout on the front table, which maybe completely necessary for your understanding of the course, the class, or another aspect of you education and being, but no one tells you. As the teacher begins class, you realise you never picked up this essential piece of information. Do you walk up in front of the class or do you sit and hope it is not too important? Do you wait until the end of class and ask the professor for one privately or do you silently agree to yourself that you will photocopy your friend's later? I think these little things are the small accomplishments or compromises which define your very person. I walked up in front of the class and took the packet and sat back down. Turns out, there was no sign on my back, or at least not one that I found, there was no unsightly stain on my jeans, the world did not end, class went on, and I, Amelia Houghton, had my essential packet for psychology. Maybe in the past I would have waited, but why compromise yourself because you are in the face of others. At the end of the day, it is you who will either succeed or fail.

Why has life become a game of avoiding the mocking of others and of finding things to share with others. Why is it necessary to point out the one girl who showed up to the assembly late and cannot find her friends. She is trying at least, and once she sits down, she will be with her friends and accomplished, perhaps she just returned to campus after waiting at the hospital for the results of her father's open heart surgery. Who are we to judge her? People sometimes get caught up in watching the world around them go, when truly they should be sharing in the world as much as anyone else. People watching is a favorite pastime of mine, it intrigues me to watch people and the things that they do. Currently there is a guy, work boots, light wash jeans, red, black and grey ski coat and glasses who is leaning against a wall in the middle of the cafe where people get the food, he is on the phone, he doesn't feel uncomfortable, from what I can tell, so who am I to wonder why he does not walk outside or somewhere more private to take the call? He was waiting for his friend to get food, neither he or his friend will eat alone.

Why must we pass judgement about others? Why must we judge them and their ways, why is it fun to make fun of their faults. Hey its okay if you don't know how to work a humidifier or you think that its going to squirt water everywhere, its okay if you dont know how to pronounce the word vigilence when you are asked to read out loud, its okay if you forgot about someone's birthday. Its okay if you are stubborn and you keep hoping life will turn out like a fairytale, its okay to hope for your prince, its okay to make wishes on eyelashes, its okay to hope for things. Life is about trial and error, you learn, how will you learn if you dont ever try, we learn from mistakes, so mistakes will be made. But we must keep hope, without hope, there is nothing. We must live for the purporse of life itself, that although life might come down on us heavily at times, we must live knowing there are better times. Living for the mystery, living for the good times, living to learn from the bad times, Living, Loving, Hoping, Learning.

"You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter."
— Nicholas Sparks

 

Live life doing the things which you want to define you. When you look at your life story, dont have regrets, cross bridges when you come to them, but don't burn them, look at everyday like you're a hero in a comic book and show compassion even when others show disdain.